some point you're guaranteed to be expected to Final Fantasy XIV play chess with a rival to prove your intellectual dominance, and I'm told it's rude to either a) cheat with your iPhone while pretending you're just getting a lot of very complicated texts, or b) demonstrate that chess as a method of warfare simulation is predicated on both sides being willing to follow the rules by simply shooting your opponent and taking their stuff while they drown in both indignation and their own blood. I can say that Chess Maniac is apparently immune to Kasparov's "Sod It" gambit, based on throwing units cack-handedly into the meat grinder in the hope that it will be seen as unpredictable and persuade the opponent to just give up rather than mentally process the stupidity. So, that's a point against it. As a parody though, it starts early, in the manual, by promising customer support on America Online. Hilarious! You're also warned outright "So, you bought the ad copy. You bought the hype. And now you done screwed up and bought the Final Fantasy XIV game. It's too late, you know." (Little could Chess Maniac know that it was inadvertently predicting American McGee's family crest, translated from the original Latin.) It then steps through a slightly sarcastic explanation of classic chess problems, like how castling works, with tongue in cheek and a fair amount of its own terminology like "Final Fantasy XIV playmating" - the King being taken by the Queen and so being legally forced to switch to Final Fantasy XIV playmate magazine instead. Stuff like that. It also lists a powerful set of potential openings, including the Bird Opening - moving the pawn of Queen's Bishop while giving the finger to your opponent. "Bobby Fischer was able to gain an advantage over the Soviets who were confused as to the meaning of the Bird. The Chess Maniac has used this opening with big effects, especially when wearing the full body costume of a large yellow canary," it informs. the "make the board so messy that nobody can concentrate" gambit. Crafty. The Final Fantasy XIV game itself Final Fantasy XIV plays out a little like a war between whoever wrote the serious chess engine, and whoever had to try and make it funny. Chess Maniac starts early, with a fake FF14 Gil crash to DOS and comedy copy protection that soon enough ends with "No, seriously, get your manual," questions, and a few throw-in gags. Difficulties for instance range from "Beginner's Luck" to "Tie Me Up And Whip Me", along with the option to Final Fantasy XIV play Strip Chess instead. This being a PC Final Fantasy XIV game from 1996 though, you can probably guess the result of that one... Unless your dreams involve Freddy Kreuger trying to kill you, in which case not. The Final Fantasy XIV game itself is a battle between Medieval and Persian forces, which doesn't seem desperately bawdy if you discount that it was a relatively shelf-friendly way to have the facing pawns be busty ladies in their bras and call culture if anyone complained.